Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Yanks-Twins game 1, post 9

Top 8:

Funny how much less dangerous Mauer seems in this spot aa opposed to last inning: leading off with no one on base and a five-run lead. Let him swing away. See, in this spot, that hit is no big deal.

Good to see Joba getting loose. Let him throw the 9th, get his bullpen feet back under him. (Unrelated note: don't they issue new hats for the postseason? Seriously, Joba? Your lid looks like it's mid-August and you're still working the one you got in spring training.)

Hughes could use a double play here. Although that strikeout was pretty nice, too. Good work, kid.

Good to see Tex brought his leather to work. A one pitch night for Coker...give way to Joba! Two pitches and he's out of the 8th!

Yanks-Twins game 1, post 8

Bottom 7:

A-Rod drives in another run! Could it be that the demons are really behind him?

Between Jeet and A-Rod, this offense is rolling! And that doesn't even factor in Swisher and Matsui. If Tex gets going, too, this is going to be special!

Yanks-Twins game 1, post 7

Top 7:

CC. So good. I've read some who suggest the Yanks have pitching issues, but when this guy can throw multiple starts in any series this fall, I'd say they're in good shape.

I'd love to see Girardi let him finish this inning, but there's no reason to let it get hairy, either. Cannot let the tying run come to the plate.

Posada's work behind the plate tonight has been an adventure. Good block, but then...what happened?

Nice throw from Swisher on Span's fly ball. Even nicer cheer from the Bronx faithful as CC leaves the game.

Here comes Hughesy.

I like Hughesy's approach to OC: climb the ladder, go 95 in his eyes, but he's gotta drop the hammer. (Phil Coke warming...Nick Turturro is dying right now.) Full count...CAN'T let Mauer come to the plate here. C'mon Phil! TAKE THAT! Done.

Yanks-Twins game 1, post 6

Middle 6:

This is what CC cashes the big checks for, folks. 19 wins were nice, but this is the Yankees and everything's a prelude to this month. And this is what October used to feel like. It's good to be back to normal.

Yanks-Twins game 1, post 5

Bottom 5:

A-Rod gets off the o-fer! Nicely done. I think I'm even happier than Kate Hudson.

And Matsui! Wow! Crushed!

Yanks-Twins game 1, post 4

Middle five:

Looks like it.

Yanks-Twins game 1, post 3

After five:

This is why the Yankees lineup is so tough. The number 8 hitter is just as likely to get a clutch hit as anyone else. Nick Swisher. Yes, please.

Let's see if CC rebounds now and gets some momentum here.

Yanks-Twins game 1, post 2

Bottom three:

So, the top of the third sucked. A squeezed strike zone leads to a couple of hits which lead to a run. A passed ball leads to another run?! CC's thrown a lot of pitches already, but I expect he's ready toss 110 or so, if needed.

Joe Mauer is really good at this.

But, so is Derek Jeter. Bomb! This is how they do it in the NYC. There's a real possibility they could pile on here and put this thing away early, allowing CC to settle down a bit.

Or not. Tie game.

Yanks-Twins game 1, post 1

Bottom two:

So far, the Yanks look good. Good to see CC work out of the first inning trouble. As long as they can neutralize Mauer, the Twins lineup doesn't strike much fear. It would be great if he could go 7, then Joe can go to Hughes and Rivera.

Love that Jeet smoked the first pitch for a hit. As an overall strategy, however, I think they need to work deep counts. The Twins just played 12 innings last night, after all. Would've been nice if A-Rod had cashed in Jeet in the first, but it was encouraging that he hit the ball well.

Craig Sager is a badly dressed idiot.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Hair wars...

Folks want to talk about the Steelers defense running headlong into the Cardinals offense. Kurt Warner trying to encourage one more big victory out of his 37 year-old body. Big Ben winning a second championship since taking the reins in Steel City. But, those aren't the stories. No, the real story of the Super Bowl match up is which hair style will triumph, thereby setting an irreversible follicle course for a whole generation of young, impressionable kids. Make no mistake, the winner of the Troy Polamalu v. Larry Fitzgerald hair derby will have ripple effects throughout the culture sure to be felt from Bangor to Bakersfield. So, let's break it down.

The Combatant: Troy Polamalu
The Style: The Lion's Mane
Popular With: 80's rockers, science nerds, utter geniuses, and kings of the jungle

The Combatant: Larry Fitzgerald
The Style: The Viper Locks
Popular With: Reggae megastars, nursery playthings, fictional Greek villains and dust-eating creatures

The Showdown, Round 1: In the opening round of the popularity playoffs, the 80's rockers knock off the reggae megastars when the latter are too, um, "mellow" to fight back while the guitarist from Slayer bashes them repeatedly with his Flying-V axe. In a mild upset, the nursery playthings overpower the science nerds by distracting them with an Erector set. While the nerds fiddle away, the nursery playthings gang up in a "Child's Play" sort of way. The fictional Greek villains score a victory for the Viper Locks by freezing the utter geniuses in place. The resulting statue looks great on an executive's desk, but does little for the battle at hand. In the final first-round face off, the kings of the jungle easily overpower the dust-eating creatures by simply tearing them into little pieces and subsequently distributing the pieces for the whole family to dine on. After one round, the Lion's Mane and the Viper Locks are dead even.

The Showdown, Round 2: The 80's rockers, fresh off of their convincing pummeling of the reggae megastars, meet some unexpected resistance from the nursery playthings. It seems that most rockers are simply trying to get in touch with their inner child and at the sight of the mementos of days gone by, the rockers break into uncontrollable weeping. Score an unexpected victory for the Viper Locks. In the other second-round battle, the fictional Greek villains square off with the kings of the jungle. When the fictional Greek villains attempt to use their signature hypnotic attack against the mighty beasts, they are shocked to find that their powers do not work on members of the panthera genus. In the brief battle that ensues, the fictional Greek villains are torn into little pieces which are subsequently distributed for the whole panthera family to dine on. On to the final round and an epic battle for the ages: nursery playthings v. kings of the jungle, with the future of hair culture on the line.

The Showdown: Final Round: The kings of the jungle come out wary, not sure what to expect from the upstart nursery playthings. The kings of the jungle resort to such intimidation tactics as circling, pawing and roaring. The nursery playthings seem undaunted, never flinching once in the face of such a display of brute power. The nursery playthings approach appears to be the classic "play dead and maybe they'll leave us alone." Instead, the kings of the jungle tire of the posturing and pounce. It's all over in a blur of stuffing and fabric. The kings of the jungle prevail and the nursery playthings tactic of playing dead no longer seems so playful. The kings of the jungle have struck a decisive victory in the fashion war and the Lion's Mane style remains the undisputed champion of gridiron hairdos. Children everywhere will now begin growing out their hair as large as it can go. Congratulations, Troy, I hope you're proud of yourself.

(The preceding was brought to you by Aqua Net.)

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Florida, Florida, Florida...

Raise your metaphorical cyber-hand if you've grown tired of the University of Florida. I know my buddy Scott won't raise his, but mine is firmly thrust into the air.

I mean, really, Florida? Two national titles in football in three years? Knocking UCLA out of the men's basketball tourney two years in a row (and once on my birthday)? We've all grown tired of the dominance.

Whatever happened to parity? Whatever happened to the little guy having a chance? Whatever happened to the sudden rise of the unknown amateur athlete? All gone in a blue and orange swirl of "chomping" arms, overaggressive recruiting and shameless cashing in on the previous run of success.

I will not root for Florida. They simply win too often. They have simply grown too good. I represent the majority of right thinking people.

(See how crazy your argument sounds when it's about a team other than the Yankees?)