Crunch time...

This part of the semester always kills me. At this time last year I was uttering curse words about Greek (Seriously, you can ask my friend Tim). We have entered crunch time.

Crunch time comes with its own set of rules. To wit:

-During crunch time, professors who you previously considered normal will suddenly increase the amount of reading expected for a typical week. You must face this trial with silence. So much as a whimper and the load will increase.

-During crunch time, you may forget to take part in valuable activities such as bathing. Make sure that you surround yourself with people who have strong stomachs and won’t hesitate to point out your stench.

-During crunch time, all of the books you need will be checked out of the library. If you are lucky, you might be able to locate the gaps in the system where the books you need typically reside. At this point a whimper is acceptable, but you must whimper quietly. You are, after all, in the library.

-During crunch time, you will learn to survive on 2 hours of sleep, feel “somewhat awake” with 3, write a paper on 4, and feel “positively chipper” with 5.

-During crunch time, the people in your classes just aren’t that funny anymore. (Unless I’m in your class, then I’m still funny. Right? Anyone?)

-During crunch time, you will consistently struggle through the following train of thought: “Before I forget, I really need to…um…curse word! What did I need to do?”

-During crunch time, eating becomes a timed event. You must not dally long at the table. Remember, each bite of sandwich = one less quarter-page of a paper you could be finishing.

-During crunch time, instead of having time to read, write and study, you will find your weekends unexpectedly filled with things like changing bike tires, chopping down redwoods and brokering peace between Yankees and Red Sox fans. Granted, these things may never happen during the rest of the year, but we’re dealing with crunch time here.

I hope that you all may negotiate the tricky waters of crunch time with grace and peace. Rest assured, this too shall pass…just in time for summer school.